


Touch

by zellymaybloom



Series: 50 Day Personal Writing Challenge [17]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 07:43:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11249331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zellymaybloom/pseuds/zellymaybloom
Summary: Evan loves to hug and cuddle with his best friend.





	Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Today's prompt was, "I think I'm in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me." Tell meh the typos please.

Evan and Connor had somehow become great friends after the letter mix up. The few crushing seconds of anxiety when he had to explain he liked Zoe was absolutely awful, but since then, they had gotten along pretty nicely. Connor had awkwardly apologized for being so abrasive and offered to buy him lunch. That day, they really hit it off. He was a great listener who commented politely when Evan was talking about his plants. He didn’t seem weirded out or put off by it. Actually, just a few months ago on Evan’s birthday, he arrived at school with a small succulent and a card. Their friendship had become a fond thing to Connor it seemed.

It was to Evan was well. He was admittedly a very cuddly person and enjoyed being able to have contact with someone. It kept him grounded; touch was very comforting to him in stressful situations. So, when he became friends with Connor, he asked him if it was okay to be touchy. Evan was thrilled when Connor said he didn’t mind it too much. Turns out, it was a nice feeling for him too.

This started a wonderfully soft era for the two of them. Evan would greet Connor with warm hugs that he would return enthusiastically. His head would fall down to Evan’s shoulder, and he would pet his hair as they embraced. When they pulled away, they would hold hands as they walked through the halls. Evan always wanted to apologize for his sweaty palms, but Connor never brought it up. He decided it was best to keep it that way. And so, they would walk to their classes, hands swinging between them. Connor often bumped into Evan to put emphasis on some joke or tease that he said, and to counter that, Evan would cling to his arm in a nicer, gentler version of revenge. Although, Connor didn’t exactly protest. Rather, he slung his arm across Evan’s shoulders until they had to split. Then and only then would he try and act discontent with the contact. Even after, they would have one more quick hug before truly separating. And that was just school. Everywhere else, the two were practically inseparable. As they walked, Evan was next to him. As they watched shows, Evan was lying on him. As they slept, you bet Evan was probably cuddling into him.

Connor turned into his support. Without him, Evan started to grow aware of everyone around him. He got lost in his own mind. His biggest fears blurred into reality as he vividly imagined them. Unruly thoughts that are usually pushed away start to dance in the front of his conscious. He really needed him.

On top of that though, Connor had begun to morph into a love interest. Evan would see Zoe back at their house, and Connor would stand by awkwardly as he tried to have some input. The conversation directed towards her was always really slow and choppy. The second Evan shifted his focus though, things went by way smoother. It turns out it was way harder to talk to her than it was her brother. Connor was just… He was everything he wanted and needed already. He was happy with having the person he loved be the same as his best friend, if not a little frustrating at times. He managed though. Keeping his feeling under wraps, he just tried to enjoy the stability he had with him.

That’s why he began to grow fearful when Connor started distancing himself.

One day, Evan had arrived at school and jogged over for the usual hug they shared. He went in for the hug as usual, but to his confusion, Connor had tensed up and did not reciprocate. He asked what was wrong, and he just told him he had fallen down and was bruised. Strange, but nothing seemed wrong exactly. Not questioning it, Evan went on as usual, taking his hand and hoping that his own wouldn’t be too sweaty. Fairly content, he they took their usual route to class. That day, Connor didn’t jokingly bump his side, but that was fine. He was sore, so Evan couldn’t expect that of him now could he. Trying not to get too worried, he very delicately put his arms around Connor before they went to class.

It was nothing, he told himself. Connor just had to heal.

A week later though, hanging out in Evan’s living room, he had assumed that his wound was healed. After seven days of being deprived of his touch, he hoped it would be okay to go and lie on his chest as he used to. Cautiously, he scooched forward over him. To his surprise and disappointment, Connor had tensed up yet again.

“Oh! Um, uh, sorry, I’m so sorry it’s just... Sorry.”

Connor’s breathing was starting to get heavy as he sat up. Evan had scooched away, but he tried to at least offer a hand to hold. He hesitantly tried to comfort him with soft words. “Um… Connor. Connor. It’s okay. It’s okay! You’ll be, um, you’ll be fine. I don’t, I don’t know what’s wrong, but I want to, to help so please. Just breath okay?” As he spoke, he leaned forward and cupped his hands over Connor’s face. The action wasn’t welcomed though.

Batting away his hands, he lowly mumbled, “Evan get away from me.”

“I, um, are you sure? I just figured I could um-”

“Evan, back off!” he yelled. His face was growing tearful, and Evan hadn’t the faintest clue what to do. In a panic, he ran to his room. He was starting to feel some pressure himself. He must have done something wrong. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Connor wasn’t supposed to hate him. Anxiously, he curled into himself as the situation ran through his brain. Apparently, Connor was still injured, and he, without even asking, had just assumed it would be totally fine to just lay all over him again. He should have checked first. He was just being impatient and clingy, and now Connor didn’t want anything to do with him.

His thoughts sent him spiraling down as he tried to think of what to do. At a loss, he rocked back and forth in a ball on his bed.

“ _ Evan… _ ” a faint voice said.

What was he supposed to do now? He had built his sanity off of Connor.

“ _ Evan! Wait! _ ” He had heard this voice before.

He just had to fuck that up, didn’t he?

“ _ Fuck. Shit, Evan, I am  _ so _ sorry… _ ” Whoever they were, they seemed to care.

What a loser he was.

“Evan. I’m here. Please, listen to my voice…”

That was Connor. Untucking his head from his knees, he saw his best friend peering down at him with a look of concern. Immediately, Evan was scooped up into his arms in a tight hug. His mind immediately went to his supposed injury.

He pulled back, leaving his hands on his shoulders saying, “Wait, no. No, Connor you're hurt.”

Shrugging his hands off, he told him, “No I’m not.” There was a moment of hesitation before he told him, “I just… Touches are weird sometimes.”

Evan’s previously concerned face fell to sadness. “Look, I just… Um… If, if this is your way saying you don’t, you don’t want me to do that... I’m... I’m fine. I’m really clingy, I know.”

His eyes widening in surprise, Connor rushed forward to catch him in another embrace. “No! No, you’re not. I just… Well…” Yet again, he pulled back. He shifted around on the bed, trying to find his words. “It’s like… Damnit, I didn’t plan on saying this today. Or ever. Fuck. It’s… Um…”

“Connor, it’s  _ fine _ . If you don’t, don’t like me  _ at all _ I can-”

“Evan, no!”

Evan tried to wipe his eyes, hoping to be able to accept this gracefully. But as he did before, he leaned forward and held Evan’s  face with a soft smile.

As he looked up, Connor admitted, “I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me.”

At that, Evan felt his teary face melt into a sweet grin. His grew warm as he realized their proximity. Without thinking, he could tell he was slowly floating forward. His eyes fluttered closed, and his heart began to race in anticipation. He didn’t know what to do, but he’d have to act within seconds. The time was ticking; contact was moments away.

Then, the two met. He gasped as his lips touched his. In the last moment before they met, it seemed that Connor had tilted his head, so at least their noses weren’t weirdly bumping. Good thing for a first kiss. Although now that they’d initiated, he didn’t know what to do now, and he was sure that Connor probably didn’t know either. Still, he felt Connor began to hesitantly move his lips. Shyly, Evan did his best to imitate as a hand moved up to hold his waist. Connor relaxed at the touch and sighed into the kiss. Evan took that as a sign that it was over and began to pull back. Pulling away though, he was surprised to have Connor rush back forward, catching him in a kiss yet again. This time, they seemed more confident in their actions, even if their actions were still a bit strange. Both were more in harmony with one another as they kissed. After a while, he felt Connor slowly try to lick his lips mid-kiss, but in doing so, he accidentally brushed Evan’s. At the cool touch, he heard himself make a small whine in the back of his throat.

He quickly rushed back in embarrassment. “Ah, um… That was, that was weird. Sorry! That um, that wasn’t a bad kiss! Although, I guess uh, we could be better that was my, my first kiss. It was good! Yeah! That…” As he took a glance back at Connor, he saw him grinning widely in amusement. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

With a chuckle, he replied, “You’re just cute.”

“Oh! Uh, thanks…”

“Hey. Come’ere.” Connor held his arms out towards him. Evan crawled towards him, but as he tried to sit down next to him, he was being shifted on Connor’s lap. He blushed but made no move off.

His gaze going anywhere but his eyes, he tried to ask, “So are we, are we dating? Like uh, boyfriends? Or something?”

There was an amused huff before the answer. “Well, I don’t see why not.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this! Find me on Tumblr [@zellymaybloom](https://zellymaybloom.tumblr.com) forrrr... Idk. Just. Please do it. :))))) Anyway, have a splendid day, night, evening, whatever. Just have fun, pal.


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